Reality and Illusions

Anorexia isn’t a slim figure shyly refusing a cupcake. It’s lanugo and the calorie calculator in your brain. It’s waking up in the morning and being too tired to get out of bed. It is not beautiful. Bulimia isn’t just eating too much chocolate and throwing it up to avoid the extra calories. It’s scarred knuckles, discoloured teeth and uncontrolled binges. It is not beautiful. Rape isn’t wearing turtlenecks and pants forever. It’s the endless hot showers to get rid of the invisible handprints and bruises. It is not beautiful. Depression isn’t just mascara tears and looking out at the horizon and sad music. It’s the pounding headaches and the reason sleep won’t come at 5 in the morning and staring at the ceiling wondering what’s wrong. It is not beautiful.Drug abuse isn’t just snorting coke at a party. It’s cold skin and bloody syringes and drowsiness. It is not beautiful. Self-harm isn’t a “whore” seeking attention. It’s cutting deep enough to pass out and stained fullsleeves and scars everywhere. It is not beautiful. Social isolation isn’t just ignoring a text message. It’s sitting in the bathroom eating lunch and spending days under the blanket. It is not beautiful. Suicide isn’t just the fatal jump. It’s months of agonizing mental pain and questioning life. It’s swallowing pills and acid. It’s giving up everything and everyone. It is not beautiful.

I will be stronger than my sadness.

Stop glamorizing, romanticizing and normalizing mental disorders. It is not beautiful. But you know what? You are. And it’s about time you start believing it.


3 thoughts on “Reality and Illusions

  1. I really needed this right now, thank you so so much for writing this! You’ve got no idea how this has impacted me and helped my recovery.

    Liked by 2 people

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